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| Definitely not me |
I am not one of those people. When I started running about 6 months ago, I hated every single step. And I felt like a failure, because I thought that if I wanted to run, I had to become a "runner." Everyone I talked to was telling me about all of these things I had to have if I wanted to run, that I had to pour both time and money into running if I wanted to do it right because running is a lifestyle, not just an activity.
"You need to get these fancy hydration tablets (that look suspiciously like Airborne)."
"How can you say you don't love running?! I can't live without my runs!"
"Buy these energy tablets to fuel your long runs because if you don't you'll never make it farther than 4 miles!"
"What do you mean you don't feel better after a run? I always feel so full of energy!"
"If you don't wear compression socks, your legs will literally fall off your body mid-run."
"You shouldn't eat that today, it could affect your run tomorrow!"
"If you buy long sleeved running shirts, they need to have thumbholes!"
I went out and bought fancy running shoes from a fancy running store (well, my parents bought them for me...thanks mom and dad!). I paid more for a pair of socks than I normally do for a pair of jeans. And I ran. I ran in the blazing heat of July. I ran and accidentally stepped in the mud in my fancy running shoes. I ran on the treadmill after class. I ran farther and farther (but never faster, 12:30/mile is my body's only pace).
But that earth-shattering spiritual awakening never came. I never started loving running. I don't look forward to my runs. I don't feel energized or exhilarated before, during or after my runs. They are just another check mark on my to do list. The more I ran, the more I realized I was never going to be a "runner." And that doesn't make me a failure. It means that I had approached running with the wrong mindset.
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| Pinterest images, like the one on the top, only add to the problem by making you feel like a failure if you don't love running. |
I started off on this endeavor assuming that once I started running, becoming a "runner" would be an automatic byproduct of my training. I thought that if I had all the right gear and the right training program, I would suddenly love to run. But that is not true. I do not love running. I will never find it an enjoyable activity. I still dislike every step of my runs, and now there are many more steps involved (I'm looking at you, 8-mile-run-tomorrow).
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| My inner monologue while running. |
The reality is, I don't need special shoes or special equipment to run. My second pair of running shoes were a far less expensive brand from Academy, and they work just as well. Some good ol' blue Gatorade is just as good for hydration, and I've yet to pass out from lack of special fuel while I run. If I do ever take snacks on a run, it will probably be Scooby Doo fruit snacks. My workout clothes come from the sale rack, and none of my sleeves have thumb holes. And I am doing just fine in my training.
I'll give the expensive compression socks a pass, though, because they are awesome and totally worth the money (as long as you have a discount code).
I am not running for myself - I am making myself run. All of this training I am putting into this half marathon is going toward one goal: raising money to support St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. I am running for the kids, the doctors, the pharmacists, and the researchers. I am running for the friends I have who work there and the parents whose children are patients there. I am running because I know my body has the capacity to do it. I am running to check a half marathon off my bucket list.
I am running because I can. Not because I want to. Running will never be my lifestyle, just a thing I do occasionally. And that is OK.
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